An Uphill Task In Young Parenthood

CHAPTER ONE

 

While I was a child in Buwango village, Buzaya county, Kamuli District in the early 2000s, along with my childhood friends, we used to play Taata-Maama (Father-Mother) games. In those games, we used to take on roles of different family members and imitate their duties at home. We used to play in a group of five, six or seven depending on the players present at a time. To be honest, it was… fun!

Almost all the times we played, I took on the father role, I loved it because I exhibited full control over the family imitating my father, Charles.

Father was a light-skinned, amicable, imposing man.

Despite his sixty years, he had no physical signs of aging!

His skin was firm not saggy and neither his face droopy; father simply looked younger than his age.

From our plays, we painted family with a rich lifestyle.

My friends and I could improvise and name anything any sort of name we so ever wanted; build a small house with sticks and call it a mansion, chop into small pieces different types of raw food and call it a buffet, among many other games.

Everything was going on smoothly till one fateful Wednesday morning, around mid-June, 2003, when my mother, Eve, resorted to leaving the village for the capital after a hot heated argument with father. The cause of that brawl was not known to us and being the youngest among my siblings, mother decided to move with me to the capital, emotionally parting with my three elder sisters (Doreen, Phionah, Moureen) and brother (Nicholas).

1

 

Reaching the capital, it was a whole different vibe!

People lived so densely packed, each house so tightly pressed to the next that only a yard-wide space was left for passageways and stairs, forcing pedestrians to jostle one another as they waded through the mire. And even in the squares and along the few border streets, vehicles could hardly get out each other’s way.

Nevertheless, however cramped and scruffy, the capital was bursting with the bustle of commerce.

To my shock, children from various homes could hardly play with those of their neighbors simply because their parents denied them to and instead bought them all sorts of toys that kept them busy. I could only hear their cheerful voices from high brick fences that surrounded their houses but not catching a glimpse at their faces. That left me all alone contrary to how I used to live.

Mother got a job and shortly after employed a nursemaid to look after me in her absence.

Growing up without my siblings made me a lone lonely loner! In the course of time, just like the other children, I began to play with a few toys my mother, Eve bought me, watched cartoons and played video games.

Mother fought tooth and nail to get my school dues, had sleepless nights all in her efforts to put food on the table, endured to be scolded and nicknamed, all in the name of providing for me! My dear mother never gave it a second thought when I asked her for anything, it would just be matter of time for it to be at my disposal, she was undeniably a heaven-sent Angel to me!

My mother was a pretty woman with ebony-black hair that tumbled over her shoulders, her face was adorable and whenever her lips stretched into a smile, her shiny, 2

 

halo-white teeth would be displayed, upon speaking, her voice was soothing and had a benevolent personality.

While in the capital, I enjoyed the luxury of good quality education and this was indeed a twist of fate!

From a government school with dilapidated buildings, absent teachers and unhealthy meals to a high standard private school with quality education, flat buildings, school buses and balanced diet meals.

Five years later, I sat for my primary leaving examinations (P.L.E) and passed with flying colours; I got a first grade of six aggregates; a first grade ranged from four to twelve aggregates. My mother, Eve was over the moon with my outstanding results and enrolled me in one of the most prominent secondary schools.

Keeping on with my studies, time wore on and I also sat for my Uganda certificate of education (U.C.E) exams.

After completing my O-level studies, the following morning I started hunting for a job because it would be extremely vexatious for me to spend the entire daytime at home.

By then, my father, Charles, sisters and brother had joined us in the capital but I could hardly hold a conversation with them. Having been a loner for a long time, I was utterly out of touch with my siblings. It is hard to explain but I just found myself bored even in their presence.

After visiting a few places in my job quest, I managed to get one at a construction site as a porter and that was where I almost ruined my life!

At sixteen years, I was working with people aged twenty-five and above. From sunup to sundown, their conversations were all about women and sex! Without leaving any detail out, they could discuss how they 3

 

seduced teenage girls regardless of the fact that most of them were married and had children! Their continuous conversations sparked off sexual curiosity in me.

Mom was on the other hand a busy bee at her clothes shop, ‘Eve best suits and dresses’ which made it hard for her to know how I spent my time, where I worked and with whom. With no one to question my conduct, I eventually became sexually active, hastily changing from a person who would just listen to sex talks to one who could engage in sex discussions and make conclusions.

One cold evening, the engineer of the construction site where I worked had a fit of anger when he found us in a heated sex discussion.

‘Isn’t that boy too young for such sensitive sex talks?’

spreading out his hands in his anger, Engineer Richard roughly asked.

Sam a builder with a round black face quickly replied,

‘did you just call him a boy? Okay, by age he is a boy but the knowledge he has about sex you can hardly believe!’ he added, smiling wickedly.

Engineer Richard who fixed on Sam a hard-long glare said no more to him, and then walked away saying words none of us heard. Later that very evening, Engr.

Richard sent for me and when I reached where he was, he went straight to the point.

‘I don’t know the conditions that forced you here at that age but I see you as my son; in fact, you must be around the same age as my eldest son, Mukiibi,’ he said seeming very concerned as I looked at him shyly, holding my lips tight.

‘By the way, how old are you?’

I looked down and rolled my eyes and then answered, ‘I am sixteen years old.’

4

 

He stared at me in disbelief and said, ‘You are just tall but too young! Erick, are you still in school?'

‘Yes, I am. Currently, I am in my senior four vacation,’

I replied with a tinge of panic.

‘ Erick, I feel greatly perplexed when a young person like you expected to do something meaningful with your life does the exact opposite, letting people whose lives are already ruined to feed you with nonsense! It is quite alarming! Do you want to end up like them?’ angrily asked Engr. Richard,

‘No, sir, no,’ I timidly answered.

While Engineer Richard was still talking and advising me on the “dos” and “donts” of life, his phone rang and answered the call. Shortly after, he asked me where we had stopped.

As I was still struggling to remember, he called me in a low tone, ‘Erick?’ and asked raising his eye brows , ‘what do you want to be in the future?’

After a short spell of silence, I replied, ‘Lawyer. ’

Engineer Richard threw back his head and roared with laughter, he then looked back at me and said, ‘that is an Uphill task! But… you can make it as long as you keep your eyes on the prize,’ with those words, I nodded my head twice in complete agreement and we bade each other farewell.

Engr. Richard’s words kept on ringing in my head. I later meditated on my life and decided to stop working at the construction site.

Precisely fourteen nights after, the Uganda Certificate of Education (U.C.E) exams’ results were released.

Despite the fact that I attended my whole O-level as a day scholar, I was one of the best students at our school and in the whole country!

5

 

My parents were on cloud nine after learning about my bright exam results! They then had a long discussion concerning my education and father suggested to take me back to the same school for A-level but as a boarding student which mother without further ado agreed to.

Father later sent for me and said, ‘inspite of all the challenges you have been going through at home as a day scholar, you have got a first grade! I therefore propose that you go to a boarding section and concentrate more, by so doing, I indisputably believe you can get maximum points in your A-level.’

I then happily nodded twice in complete agreement to his suggestion. With joy filled in his voice, father said, ‘that is my son!’

For the first time in my school life, I was going to embark on a boarding section as it was proposed by father.

A week later, a party was organized at Enjoy-life Recreation Center, Entebbe by fellow old boys and girls to celebrate our triumph in the recently released results of the U.C.E exams.

There, I met again all my mates I had spent a long while without seeing. It was our first social get together ever since we sat for our finals. Surprisingly, in just that very limited space of months, everyone had completely changed, more so the girls.

Still there, I came to know that alcohol was taken by persons under the age of eighteen; that was after I found my old friend Peter holding a big bottle of alcohol.

‘Where are you taking that alcohol, did someone send you to pick it?’

To my shock, Peter with an eerie look on his face replied, ‘come on, dude, I have been taking alcohol since fourteen!’

6

 

Peter then made a few strides to the bar exit but before he could get there, I stopped him once again and led him to a nearby table where we sat.

‘Do you not know that alcohol is stipulated for people aged eighteen and above? Some adverts even say alcohol is for persons of twenty-five years and above! What if your parents know about this?’

‘Mind you, it is my father who influenced me into taking alcohol. We have had a wet bar at home for the last thirteen or fourteen years!’

‘What!’ I exclaimed, not believing what Peter had just told me, he slowly continued, ‘my father used to come back home late, past midnight and the other times, he would fail to leave the bar where he was because of binge drinking! So, after frequent fights with mother, he decided to make a wet bar inside our house! Father used to call my big brothers to drink along with him leaving me out since I was still a toddler. Things took a turn after sitting for my Primary Leaving Examinations (P. L. E).’

I then leaned closer to him and listened avidly.

‘My father started calling me to drink along with him in my mother’s full glare! Initially, like my brothers, I started with soft liquors like Baileys Irish cream, slowly but steadily, I progressed to hard wines and spirits like the one I am holding now.’

I quickly directed my eyes to the bottle’s label and I came to know it was Gilbeys. I opened my mouth to speak but he spoke first;

‘Hardly can I do anything now if I do not take alcohol first, at home we are all alcohol addicts! No one will advise the other. Michael and Dennis (my big brothers) were sacked from their jobs; Michael was fired for disrespecting his boss and Dennis for always being late!

7

 

My father attributed that to alcohol but he neither stopped those two from binge drinking nor advised them to at least drink wisely!’ Peter concluded, calmly looking at me as though to see if I had keenly followed his story, I then picked from where he had stopped.

‘Peter, from what you have just told me, you do not want to take alcohol, just break that addiction! Do you want to end up like your hopeless brothers?’ I asked as I rose to my feet waiting for his response.

With a puzzled look, he repeatedly answered, ‘No, Erick, no.’

Peter then thanked me for the advice and vowed never to take alcohol again. We then left the Gilbeys bottle on the table where we were and went to look for our mates we could not see. To my dismay, as we passed through a dark corridor which led to the ballroom where we thought our friends could be, we found a bunch of them having group sex! Stunned by what we had just witnessed, we bypassed them and proceeded to the ballroom.

Upon reaching there, we barely found any of the rest of our friends but the music was on and the DJ was on the decks.

Peter quickly advised, ‘go and talk to the DJ, he could probably give us a clue of our pals’ whereabouts.’

Right away, I reached out to the DJ and after greeting him, I asked, ‘sir, do you possibly have an idea of where our mates could be?’

‘Well…’ he began slowly, ‘I was paid to play for you music, not to follow you up!’ he responded, rather rudely.

It was striking ten o’clock at the bar’s wall clock, checking on my phone, I had missed fifteen calls and nine of them were from my father! I felt a surge of anxiety and 8

 

asked Peter whether he had credit on his phone but he simply moved his head side to side.

We then went to find a telephone booth where I could call father from and the rest to find out what they wanted to tell me. On our way, Peter saw a number of our old girls being entered into a lodge helplessly drunk by our old boys. He told that to me later since I was still perplexed about what father possibly wanted to tell me at that time.

A few moments later, we found a phone booth and I immediately rang father, as soon as he picked and I told him it was me on the line, he furiously asked, ‘Where on earth are you? I have called you a hundred times and you have not been picking! Where are you at this time of the night?’