Introduction

It’s God’s will for you to marry and enjoy your marriage with your spouse and this happens mainly by your ability to make the right choice of a partner. When you are in a relationship, it is that period of time you need to carefully study your partner and take note of red lights that pop up along the line. When you fail to take the right decisions at that moment, you will no doubt lay a wrong foundation for your marriage which you will suffer from the rest of your life. GO AND CALL YOUR HUSBAND is a timely book that will open your eyes to some of the mistakes many people make that lead them into disaster in their unions and later blame God for it; who is a husband and how to know a prospective and a serious man you always pray for and how to marry right and enjoy your marriage. You shall marry well and enjoy your marriage in Jesus name. Amen.

Chapter One
GO AND CALL YOUR HUSBAND

“ Jesus saith unto her, GO AND CALL THY HUSBAND, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I HAVE NO HUSBAND” John 4 :16-17

Many people admire the beauty of marriage. Indeed marriage is a beautiful thing that must be enjoyed to the fullest. How beautiful it’s to be married, have kids and grow with them together to become responsible adults in the society. That’s exactly the plan and purpose of God when He instituted marriage at the first place.

Unfortunately, the opposite is what we see nowadays in our generation. In the quest to get a help meet, suitable and loving, many landed themselves in situations far from God original intent for marriage. The shame, reproach and the despise women get as single and barren from family and the society they live in , have pushed them eventually into situations of no choice. In fact, some people are far from being married even though they think they are married. Deep down their hearts, they know they are deceiving themselves.

Our anchor scripture depicts a perfect example of this situation. Jesus was going through Samaria one day and got to a city called Sychar where Jacob well was. He sat on the well conversing with a woman from Samaria asking her water to drink. The bottom line of the story is that, the woman declined giving Jesus water but what Jesus said to the woman next is very pronounced: GO AND CALL YOUR HUSBAND. And the woman said, ‘ I HAVE NO HUSBAND’. Listen to the next verse:

“…..Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly.” John 4 : 17-18

This woman had bad experiences in her relationship with men in the past so she decided to make the last one her bus stop. She knew she was not legally married to the man but she decided to perch under his tent. This is the problem of many women and so many of them are in this situation hopelessly and helplessly. Cohabitation is so pronounced in our societies these days that many people think it’s legal. Sisters, living with a man under one same roof without proper marital procedures is not marriage; It’s called fornication. You may be so upset with me right now but it’s the truth.

We move fast to stay with men who pay nothing over our heads when they express their interest in us and we see nothing wrong with it. The fact that a man professes his love for you does not necessarily mean he really loves you. Men approach women basically for two (2) things: love and sex. Unfortunately, a large percentage of those who say they love you will not marry you. They only come to you in the cover of love but with the mind of sleeping with you. When you move in with them, you only do that at your own risk and peril. How can you live in the same house with a man who pays nothing for you? How on earth can you be hasty to do everything for a man, playing the role of a wife to a man who did not pay your bride price? The worst is when these women give birth to children to men they fully know have not honored them in their families and yet they feel relaxed claiming they are married women. Sister if you are in this case, the man you are living with is not your husband.

Cohabitation is seen by so many people as marriage. It’s no more considered as a subject of shame and reproach to live with a man who pays nothing for you. In our desperation and lust, we move in and make family with men who show us no respect and honor. Sister, when you live under one roof with a man who did not pay your bride price, it’s an indication that you are cheap and desperate. You have less or no value for yourself. The man you call your ‘ husband’ now sees you as worthless and will not have respect for your family.

The woman in the above scripture knew the man she was living with and calling ‘ husband’ was not actually her husband but she thought she had no choice since that was the only way to keep herself from reproach. Surprisingly that’s not true. You can be a single mother of two children and still get the privilege to marry a responsible man who will honor you in your family and treat you lovely. You think you are getting old so the only way out is to move in with a man without proper marital procedures? Probably he told you to move in with him and get pregnant for him, then he will go to your parents to perform the marital responsibilities and you believe him, right? So after moving in with him for years now, did he do as he said?

Sister, age, poverty or bad condition of life cannot be justifiable reasons to stay with a man who did not legally marry you. Our society may accept it but your God disapproves it entirely. Nowadays, we see people living together in sexual relationship but they are not properly married. It has become a norm in our world that we see nothing wrong with it. The dramatic rising of this condition has laid a sure platform for domestic violence and disregard for people we claim we love. Many people have taken unmarried couples living together as married couples as a sure way to check whether they are compatible before they engage into marriage which is not supposed to be so. God wants marriage to be held in honor among all. It’s only when a man honors you, that he can honor your family and the people around you.

“ Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4

Do you still wonder what really is been put across here? Are you finding it difficult to understand the bottom line of what is said above? The following lines answer your worry.

. God’s desire for you is to be properly married not to perch with someone who did not pay anything for you

. Marriage is honorable and must be kept worthy of honor

. Marriage brings honor and respect to the man and the woman if it’s properly and legally done.

. A man who did not honor you in your family by paying your bride price will eventually disrespect you and treat you somehow.

. You don’t haste to live with a man who did not come to ask for your hand in marriage. It’s an abomination.

. It’s dishonorable to do the job of a wife( cooking, washing, having sex….) to a man who is not your husband.

. A man who enjoys the benefits of marriage with you feels comfortable and reluctant to properly marry you since he is already getting what marriage has for him.

. The man you are staying with as a woman but did not marry you is not your husband. He is your sex partner.

. Cohabitation ( living with a man or woman who is not your husband or wife) may be tolerated and accepted by the society but is an abomination to your creator.

. Because you are getting old does not mean you have to perch with someone to make babies.

. Poverty or bad condition of life is not a reasonable reason to move in with a man or woman who is not your husband or wife to have intimate relationship or raise a family.

. As a man, what makes you the head of the family is your ability to take responsibility of the need of the family. It’s a tragedy when the woman alone start doing what you are meant to do as a man