An exposé of a flip-flopper’s throne of

thorns

By Norman Tumuhimbise Introduction

As you may be aware, the word exposé is derived from the Latin word exposé which means to exhibit or reveal dishonesty, shocking facts that are hidden from the public. As such, in my fifth book I will without fear, favour or ill intention bring to the public attention the hidden facts and agendas of both within call it the inside of the inside, the insiders, the outsiders of the inside, and the outsiders of the outside who behave as insiders of the inside of Mr. Museveni’s throne of thorns since 1986 to date. Not because I hate Mr. Museveni or his NRA/M but because I love Uganda more and Uganda’s future and Africa at large.

To issue an apology, there must be good reasons. In fact some scholars have informed the world that for someone to apologise, they must have hurt or teased someone even if they didn’t mean it or if you did something you knew was wrong - like telling a lie or breaking a rule on purpose.

Unfortunately for Mr. Museveni with his throne of thorns, I will not apologise for this exposé of all the thorns in his throne because as per the scholars’ reasons for an apology, I have not committed any to be compelled to register a sorry but rather I and over 40 million Ugandans deserve apologies from Mr. Museveni written in black and white on billboards across the country.

For instance, a billboard that welcomes you to Luweero should bear a message, “I am sorry for having killed your relatives in the guise of a revolution between 1980 and 1986.”

In the same manner Museveni should place a very big billboard in Jinja City with a message, “I am sorry for destroying your industrial town.” As for northern Uganda at large, at Karuma there should be a big billboard with, “I am sorry for the insurgency in your region.”

As for the Rwenzururu, he should have a billboard with a message, “I am sorry for attacking your kingdom and killing the subjects therein.”

As for the Buganda region, “I am sorry for not fulfilling my pledges.”

In summary, Mr. Museveni should apologise to Ugandans for having failed to deliver on the Ten Point programme which in my view just like so many others the promised programme has been reduced to a Two Point programme which is: Life Presidency and Muhoozi project that will subsequently lead to the Museveni -Janet-Muhoozi dynasty (the father, the mother, the son and the family at large) and this is what I call the real-real insiders of the inside in the Museveni throne of thorns who seem to be answerable to only God and themselves given their proven history of their disrespect for rule of law and human rights.

This is by both Mr. Museveni and the son while on the other hand Hon. Janet Kataha Museveni continues to mock Ugandans the same way Marie Antoinette would mock the French.

Chapter 1: MUSEVENI’S CAT CHARACTER

Growing up in villages comes with some wonderful experiences and such experiences are diverse not until you begin calling/naming chips and chicken as “take away” as a dear friend once told me.

To this friend, because she hadn’t heard anyone define what takeaway meant but could see many people order takeaway and in return the clients would be given chips and chicken. It was for this reason that she concluded that the name for chips and chicken is takeaway. Thank God she now knows what exactly take away means. That’s the power of the village.

In this chapter, I describe Mr. Museveni’s character as that of a domestic cat as we shall all see in the subsequent chapters.

Decades ago as kids we were told to differentiate between a wild cat and a domestic one.

In case you didn’t know, in the Runyankole language we call a wild cat “Entuuru” while “Enjangu or Kapa” is a domestic cat.

As an inquisitive kid I wanted to know why some cats end up in the wild while others remain home. This question made me and a close friend to my grandparents to ask, so that they could share with me those ancient theories on the why and how some cats are called Entuuru for the wild cats and Enjangu for the domestic ones.

What an interesting story they shared! Before they could tell me the reason for which these cats have different names and definitely different characters, my grandparents shared with me that the process of giving birth in cats is called Okubwagura.

To the Banyankore Okubwagura in English sounds or rather means scratching and I wondered why the cat’s giving birth was called Okubwagura. I am not so sure whether my grandparents were right with their explanations but they told me that cats have a violent way of giving birth and therefore they scratch every kitten a few days after birth.

My grandparents told me further that upon giving birth, the mother cat keeps its kittens for a period of a week or so in preparation for yet another strange exercise that determines whether or not some kittens become entuuru (wild cats) or enjangu (domestic cats).

If there was any interesting part of this whole story, what follows is beyond your imagination. As you have read in the previous paragraphs where the cat’s giving birth is termed as Okubwagura, my grannies added that the second step to qualify the domestic cats from the wild cats is a scary, ghost-like sound from the mother cat to its kittens.

It is believed that this sound is not for the faint-hearted kittens but most importantly this scary sound aims at testing the resilience of those cats which will stay with their mother or those radicals that will run away.

I still wonder whether it is a coincidence that most of the wild cats are black with weird eyes. Anyhow I will have to do more cat studies to ascertain the reason for this. Describing Mr. Museveni’s characters as those of a cat is well placed and intentional. To Museveni whenever people talk about his conduct and misrule he ends up behaving like the mother cat mentioned above. He will scare you verbally, torture you both psychologically and physically through his ruthless state security operatives and in the end you find yourself with no other option than becoming Entuuru.

If I may borrow Kakwenza Rukirabashaija’s statement as I heard it in the media following his torture and subsequent escape to Germany, “…Museveni and his son Muhoozi have tortured me to the bone marrow, left me with scars that will never heal…they have made me a monster therefore they must deal with the monster they created themselves…”

Like the mother cat Museveni’s greed for power, selfishness and the sense of entitlement just like any other dictator has created many “monsters”, myself inclusive. One of my arrests in which I was tortured beyond description in 2015 turned me into Entuuru. I am very sure that no young and innocent kitten would wish to become Entuuru, unless the conditions are caused by their dear parent in this picture being Museveni, whom Uganda’s citizens had looked up to, as the overall service provider and caretaker of over forty million Ugandans.

To say there are so many Museveni made political wild cats Entuuru like Dr. Kiiza Besigye, Gen. Mugisha Muntu, Hon. Ssemujju Nganda, Hon. Robert Kyagulanyi among others and many more are yet to come and this is because every created wild political cat ends up producing and inspiring its own political and ideological followers.

No one ever wishes to be a political Entuuru, circumstances force us to become one. There are those Museveni-made political Entuuru whose greed for their mother cat Museveni’s daily meal will make them lose focus on what made them wild in the first place. We all know that the greed for today’s meal card has made the likes of Hon. Norbert Mao, now minister for justice, Hon. Betty Namisango Kamya, Hon. Nakiwala Kiyingi, Hon. Gerald Siranda, and so many others retreat and return to their abusive mother cat, in this case Mr. Museveni.

Apparently all the inconsistent former political wild cats have since joined their former tormentor to scare those of us who have maintained our stand. My consistency in fighting for justice has made me write about the Komanyoko Politics explaining the characteristics of Uganda’s politics but instead of responding in writing they rather respond through arrests and beatings. Why wouldn’t I become Entuuru?

We all know that apparently there are those cowardly, greedy and selfish kittens who are always close to the dictatorial and abusive mother cat. In their naivety and greed for survival they think that by not telling their mother cat her wrongs, earns them a daily meal. I am sure that the likes of Dr. Chris Baryomunsi, Mr. Ofwono Opondo, Gen. Kahinda Otafiire, Rt. Hon. Anita Among, Justice Alfonse Owiny Dollo, Hon. Emmanuel Dombo, Rt. Hon. Robinah Nabbanja among others are capable of praising Mr. Museveni, for wearing pajamas in a cabinet meeting so long as such praises will earn them a meal card.

It is these greedy political kittens that praised their mother cat as she defiled the constitution of the Republic of Uganda during the violent and nonsensical amendments of the constitution to keep the mother cat in power even when the constitution’s ink hadn’t dried up.

Surprisingly, these greedy and selfish political kittens are educated and our assumption is that they can differentiate between pajamas from normal clothes but may still go ahead to mislead the aged mother cat for being smart in pajamas during the day, should the mother cat choose to do so.

There are weird proposals that Mr. Museveni suggests and you hear these sycophant kittens praise them without any sense of reasoning on whether or not such proposals will yield results. The most recent proposal by the president being that only the children of the rich can fight corruption. When you question the rationality, they are quick to call you an enemy of both state and progress.

As compared to an aged, stressed and ill cat, Mr. Museveni has become irritable. Call it Entondo in Luganda. As per the Oxford dictionary someone irritable is that person who is abnormally sensitive or has a tendency of being easily annoyed.

Mr. Museveni’s irritable tendencies is toknow him by his surname; he will get annoyed and show it to the public, without fear or any sense of shame. I remember in most of the presidential addresses about the COVID-19 pandemic, citizens, especially young people, were fond of making fun of how Mr. Museveni used to sip his porridge or whatever drink as it was. Professionally and ethically, the Presidential Press Unit noticed such social media fun against Mr. Museveni’s both orthodox and primitive ways of sipping.

As such the media team would mute that irritating sipping sound. On realizing that the media would mute him whenever he sipped, his ntondo (irritable tendencies) surfaced. To be specific in one of the addresses he almost quarreled with his media team when he [Museveni] said, “…why do you always remove me from cameras when I am taking my coffee… I am taking my coffee and you take it as an embarrassment…abaganda bagamba nti akatali kabbe, amagumba olya okanyuga mulyango…he added…” loosely to mean that so long as you are not eating stolen meat, you are at liberty to throw its bones by the door side.

Had Mr. Museveni been ethically grounded but more so without having irritable tendencies, he wouldn’t take offence of his media teams’ act of muting his irritating nine months kid-like sipping style.

He will want the media to keep on their cameras even when he is blowing his running nose, yawning etc. But wait a second; is it true that what he always sips qualifies to be akatali kabbe?! To most citizens it is beyond akabbe. Meaning that what most of the president and his family enjoy is done with our taxes.

To be honest Mr. President no one would mind you even if you chose to eat ten cocks a day so long as you presided over good governance of corrupt free public servants. But look at Mr. Museveni’s government. It’s a government of unbothered, greedy and selfish leaders with all institutions run as private enterprise right from the cabinet, Justice, law and order sector and local government.

As for Parliament, it’s a special case especially now that we have a coloured speaker presiding over a house of blacks. If someone can choose to live a lie about their skin colour, how else can we trust such a person who has no pride in her colour and considered changing her complexion. It is for this reason that our parliament has become a true definition of misrepresentation, starting with our dear Speaker whose present colour misrepresents what God created her with.