PASSION AND REGARD

Chapter 5: Who should make the first move?

Chapter 6: He complains, I got no regards, she is afraid of being a hypocrite.

Chapter 7: She thinks she cannot forgive him; he says, “Nobody can love that girl".

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

For her untold hours of editing and typing, my heartfelt thanks go to my good friend, Beata Namene Nuuyoma. She is a gift from God to me. She grabbed the vision and would not let go, despite incredible deadline pressures. Without her, the completion of this book would not have occurred. She has brought me joy.

To my sisters, I clap my hands in applause. Menette and Justina, you have helped me whenever and wherever. I am blessed! Thanks for finding me so many jokes!

I am beholden to you all who have told me your personal stories of Passion and Regard in relationships. I am indebted to all the people who gave me encouragements throughout, just to mention a few, Eva Paulus, Paulus Jesaya Selma Namankono and Anna Shihepo.

Lastly, my thanks go out to the couple for their contribution of their love story. {Helena and Samuel}. May God bless you, my deepest appreciation is unexplainable. In the movie Chariots of Fire—about the life of Eric Liddell, the Olympic runner who refused to race on Sundays—the Bible is quoted: “ For those who honor Me I will honor” (1 Samuel 2:30). Reader, I wish to acknowledge and honor God. This message on Passion and Regard comes from His heart in Ephesians 5:33. This book would not exist if God had not graciously illumined me to His revelation. Lord, I thank you most of all and forevermore.

INTRODUCTION

The context you probably look upon is almost here though not yet. For now, allow me to go in details just slightly in regards to the names used in this book and the stories.

This book is a non-fiction narrative, sharing experiences of certain individuals who have vowed and permitted their stories’ and their names in usage. However, to a specific individual in particular, some names are used without referring. In addition, be well assured that the book is not referring to you, in case you find a correlation in names, if you were not in consulting or you had refuse permission. Allow me now then, to dive in the real deal! The authentic bargain! Passion and regard!

Passion on its own is not enough

Many people generally say, “ All you need is passion". On the contrary, passion is the most vital indeed, but passion alone is inadequate.

We do know that Passion is emphasized and significant especially for Women, but what we do not understand is the Men's need for regard.

This book will than explain how the Women can fulfill her need for love by giving her Men what he need’s (regard).

Below is a story of the couple helped by understanding the concepts regard and love.

My Partner and I attended your passion and Regard Social Evening. A few days before we had gotten into another Round Cycle and decided we had enough and were going to end our relationship. We were both angry and despondent. We had been seeing a senior youth counselor and I can honestly say that your social evening not only saved our relationship but actually helped us more and gave us more information and methods than counselling ever did.

We had decided to go as a final effort, however, my boyfriend really did not believe it would help and almost did not go. The truth God has revealed to you are both simple and profound. They started a healing process and revolutionized our relationship. The lack of knowledge caused us heartache and pain.

We actually spent the best afternoon and evening with each other, we have had in the past after the closing. We actually felt so in love like the first time.

What happened for this person and her partner to be joyous? What revolutionized their relationship? What caused the two people who were about to part-ways to be walking together like two young lovers?

The book you have in your hands is the Passion and Regard message this partner heard. Their account is one of thousands of letters, notes, and verbal affirmations I have received that testify what can happen when partners take a different approach to their relationship. Do you want some peace? Do you want to feel close to your spouse? Do you want to feel understood? Do you want to experience relationship the way God intended? Then try the Passion and Regard concept!

This book is for everyone: people in relationships hardship, people who want to be wonderful in their relationships, victims of affairs, lonely girls and everyone who needs understanding of relationships. I know that I am promising a lot, and I would not dream of doing this unless I fully believed that what I have to tell you works. Following are more examples of how relationships turn around when Men and Women discover the message of Passion and Regard and start living it out daily;

It is now two months since we last attended the Social Evening. It is the single most powerful message on relationship that my partner and I have ever heard. We constantly find ourselves going back to the principles we learned that special weekend.

We do gather and discuss where we have gotten off track. We have such incredible joy in trying to do things God’ s way and then seeing Him bless us. After some few days, I decided to tell my partner that I regards him. It felt so awkward to say the words, but I went for it and the reaction was unbelievable! He asked me why I regard him. I listed off a few things, and I watched his demeanor change right before my very eyes.

I am amazed that I have been in a relationship for 2 years and just now understand the Passion and Regard message.

I wrote my Men two letters about why I regards him. I am astonished at how it has softened him in his response to me. I have prayed for some months that my Men would love me and speak my love language. However, when I began to speak his language, then he responded with what I have wanted.

The above letters are typical of those I receive weekly, if not daily, from people who have gained wisdom by understanding the one key verse of Scripture that is the foundation for this book. No Man feel fond feelings of affection and love in his heart when he believes his Woman has contempt for who he is as a human being. Her disrespect ironically, undermines the deepest need of the women to feel loved. Please understand that what I have to tell you is not a “magic spear.” Sometimes the glow a partner feels at one of our social day fades in a few days or weeks, and they succumb to the same old problems—the Round Cycle. My advice to all partners who learn about the power of Passion and Regard; is to give it a two-week test and patience. In that time, they can see how far they have come and how far they still have to go.

The journey to a Godly, satisfying relationship is never over, but during two decades of counseling, I have discovered something that can change, strengthen, or improve any relationship. I call it the Passion and Regard Connection, and my partner, and I are taking this message across Namibia. We are seeing God work in remarkable ways when men and women submit themselves wholeheartedly to this biblical design for relationship. We see it working in our own relationship, where we are still discovering new blessings as we use the Passion and Regard Connection to bless each other.

If you and your partner will practice the Passion and Regard Connection, the potential for improving your relationship is limitless. Another lady wrote;

“I wanted to let you know, I GOT IT! God granted me the power of this revelation of respecting my king. This revelation has changed everything in my relationship —my approach, my response, my relationship to God and my Men. It was the missing piece” .

For so many partners regard is, indeed, the missing piece of the puzzle. Read on, and I will show you a full comprehension.

The Round Circle

As I counselled different partners, I literally could not solve their conflicts. I felt grieved in most instances that I dug deeper to find out the real deal, and this desperation brought about an inspiration to bring this book into writing, as to explore the major problem I heard from women;” He does not love me.”

Pondering, I continued studying further. I learned that Men were not saying much, but thought to themselves “She does not regard me”. Fast forward, studying scriptures, I found out that it is very natural for women to desire love, expect love and want to be cared for. While Men, on the contrary, it is natural for them to desire regard, expect respect and seek regard; nonetheless, both sexes were indeed failing to comprehend and deliver, and the blame game was the cage.

Wrestling with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Round Cycle—marital craziness that has thousands of partners in its grip. I will then explain in the seven chapters how we all get on the Round Cycle—and how we all can get off.